It Seemed as if My Family Knew MORE about My Salvation than I DID!
My Name is Sonia Cuadrado, and this is My Story
I grew up in a Christian home all of my life. Our family went to church together almost every Sunday. I also attended a Christian school from Kindergarten all the way to twelfth grade. My parents were saved right before they were married, so they always taught my two sisters and me Bible principles and encouraged us to read the Bible every day so that we could learn more about God for ourselves. I really struggled in doing that. I didn’t always understand what I was reading, so I would get frustrated and give up. But with my parents’ encouragement, I would always try again. I am so thankful to God for saving my parents, and for helping them be the godly examples that they were to me!
Between church and school, there was so much preaching where true salvation through Jesus Christ was taught. One day we came home from church and my older sister was telling my Mom about what she had learned in Sunday School. All of a sudden I heard her say, “Sonia, you’re going to Hell.” What? Did my sister just say I was going to Hell? I was only 5 years old at the time, but I knew Hell was a bad place and I knew that I didn’t want to go there! I started crying and my Mom pulled me into a room and showed me from the Bible what it meant to be saved and that because of what Jesus did on the cross, I didn’t have to go to Hell. We then knelt beside my bed and prayed together.
Because these events that I just described happened when I was only 5 years old, I don’t really remember them. My Mom told me later about what had happened, but I don’t remember anything I said, or anything my mom or sister said. I don’t remember being scared of Hell nor truly realizing that I was a lost sinner and that it was my sin that put Jesus on the cross. The only thing I remember about that experience is kneeling by my bed with my Mom. It seemed as if my family knew more about my salvation than I did!
Throughout the rest of my years growing up, I had a lot of doubts about truly being saved, but I just always went back to the story of when I was 5 and relied on that as being the time of my salvation. (Note: Salvation and saved are Biblical terms referring to the forgiveness of sins by God and the rescue of a person from the power and penalty of that sin. This is God’s requirement for eternal life.) As I went through high school I did all the “right” things–dressed right, acted right, talked right– but it wasn’t until I was in Bible College that I knew something was not right!
I attended a Bible College in Wisconsin and every day we would have chapel. One day during my sophomore year a visiting pastor came and preached on salvation. One statement he made I will never forget. He said, “If you cannot remember a specific point in time when you realized you were a sinner and that you knew what Jesus Christ had done on the cross for you and you accepted Him as your Savior, then maybe you are just going through the motions and you aren’t really saved.” At that moment, I knew he was talking about me. My heart started pounding, my hands started getting sweaty and I felt like I was going to pass out. I knew in my heart that I really couldn’t remember a time in my life when I accepted Christ. All these years, I was relying on my family’s memories, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I started crying and ran back to my dorm room.
I immediately called home and talked to my dad. I explained to him all the doubts I was having. Using God’s Word he showed me what I needed to do. He told me that when I stand before God face to face, I can’t tell God, “Well, my parents said I got saved,” and expect to get into Heaven. My parents or my sister weren’t going to be there to vouch for me. It was going to be between just me and God–no one else. This was MY eternity that was at stake!
My dad told me that I didn’t have to go through life doubting. He shared many verses from the Bible, but one I will never forget is in First John chapter 5 and verse 13, where it says, “These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God, that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.” The Bible says that you can KNOW that you have eternal life! God loves me so much and He doesn’t want me to go through life aimlessly with no purpose or with doubts. He wants me to know that I can have eternal life, and that is only through His Son, Jesus Christ!
After a long, long conversation (my dad loves to talk!) and after many tears, I poured out my heart to God and I repented (to turn away from) of my sins and asked Him to forgive me and save me. And He did! I finally had truly accepted Him as my personal Savior. It wasn’t something “religious” that I did or had–it was a RELATIONSHIP with my Heavenly Father. My dad was in tears, I was in tears, and my roommates were in tears! But they were all happy tears! I felt such a burden off my shoulders–I was finally free from all my doubts and now I KNOW 100% that when I die, that I will spend eternity with God in Heaven! And that day in my dorm room I will always remember!
Looking back at that time, I now realize that it was the Holy Spirit bringing these thoughts to my mind so that I would get things settled once and for all. All of these questions and doubts were being used to draw me closer to God! After I got saved I had so much more joy and was really at peace. When I read the Bible new things stood out to me that I never saw before. I wanted to share this with my family and friends who had never received Christ. I had an even stronger desire to serve God, but this time it would be a sincere, true desire to live for Him– not because it was how I was raised, or because every one else around me was doing it. I wanted to live for Him, because He’s the One who gave me Life!
Throughout my life, I’ve had lots of ups and downs, lots of times where I felt like I’ve failed God, but one of my favorite verses that I always cling to through these times is Psalms chapter 73, verses 25-26, “Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon the earth that I desire beside thee. My flesh and my heart faileth, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” His strength is what gets me through each day!
If you have had doubts like I did about where you would spend eternity when you die, please don’t doubt anymore. I’m so glad that I KNOW that I have eternal life and you can KNOW too! God has all the answers for you!