Now I Know Liberty
My name is Jennifer, and this is my story.
I grew up going to church. Ever since I was a young child, the Bible and church have played an integral part in my life. I had much “head knowledge” of the Bible. I knew all of the Sunday school songs and Bible verses, and I knew that if I wanted to go to heaven one day, I needed to “accept Jesus into my heart.” But what did that mean for me?
As I got older, I desired to be right with God, as I did not like the direction my life was headed and realized I needed help. With my knowledge of the Bible, I knew that in order to be right with God, it would take more than just being a good person, going to church, and reading my Bible per Ephesians 2:8-9, “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God. Not of works, lest any man should boast.” I said a prayer, and hoped that He had heard me and that I was finally right with him. Afterwards, I felt a strong desire to clean up different areas of my life and to read my Bible.
At twenty three, I took a job in Seattle, Washington, and then later on in San Diego, California. During my three years on the West Coast, I found myself surrounded by the wrong friends, and quickly found myself involved in drugs, alcohol, and ungodly relationships.
God spared my life, and in 2017, He provided a job for me in Philadelphia, which allowed me to move closer to my family. I once again set about trying to “clean” up my life. I got back into my Bible reading, and asked the Lord to forgive me for the way I had been living. I longed for God to work in my life, and was willing to do whatever He had for me.
In 2018, God was so merciful, and graciously allowed me to marry my amazing, loving husband. A few months later, through a series of some friends and acquaintances getting diagnosed with terminal cancer, my conscience started bothering me. If I was in a similar situation, with a terminal diagnosis looming ahead of me, would I know where I would go after I died? Would I have peace like these dear folks had? Fear and doubt gripped my heart constantly over the thought of dying and the uncertainty of my life after death. Would I go to heaven…Or to hell?
I asked God to show me many times where I stood before him, but I never found the peace that I sought. Looking back over those years, I am thankful that I still had an urgent desire to read the Bible as I finally got to know the God of the Bible, and what salvation truly means–Not the Sunday School knowledge I had before, but what it truly means to repent. It wasn't saying a prayer and hoping you said it right so God would hear you. It was seeing yourself and your sin how God sees it, and wanting no more of it–trusting that God would do exactly as says he will do.
"Try as I might, I just couldn't seem to clean up my life enough where I felt that I was right with God."
Try as I might, I just couldn't seem to clean up my life enough where I felt that I was right with God. The fear and doubt reached a point where I was in a constant state of anxiousness, uncertainty, and anger. As I had done many times before, I went back to God's word, the Bible, looking for some kind of reassurance that I was right with God and that I would go to heaven when I died. As I read, I kept noticing the word “know.” I John 5:13, “These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.”
I John 2:29, ”And now, little children, abide in him: that, when he shall appear, we may have confidence, and not be ashamed before him at his coming.”
I didn't know. I did not have confidence.
I finally admitted in my heart that I did not know God. My sin had separated me from Him, and as it currently stood, I was on my way to hell. However, after years of reading my Bible, I knew that all I had to do was ask Him.
On October 20, 2026, I got alone with my Bible. Matthew 11:28, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” I was ready for rest. I John 5:14-15, “And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.” The simple truth finally struck me–it is His will that I be saved. I knew I could trust him, knowing He would do exactly as his word says–He will hear me and he will save me. So I simply told God what was on my heart. I was tired of who I was–I didn't want to be that person anymore. And I wanted to be with him. Forever.
There were no fireworks. No sudden rush of peace. Just silence. But as the day went on, a sense of freedom came over me. Freedom from an invisible weight that had been weighing me down for so long. Freedom from fear. Freedom from shame. Freedom from guilt. I was finally free.
John 8:32& 36, “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”
Nothing compares to the freedom and liberty found in Jesus! He has changed my life. I now know where I will go when I leave this earth. If you do not know where you will go when you die, won't you consider turning to Him? He desires to have a relationship with you, and will transform your life, just as He did for me.